Dollar Tree

As a young person, some of my worst days were when I needed to return items to the local dollar store. Without the refund, I wouldn't have enough to pay rent on my crappy Vancouver apartment that always smelled like other people's cooking. I was 17, finishing high school, working two jobs and taking care of my siblings every day, so there wasn't going to be more money unless I returned that spatula, tinfoil, sieve and box of band-aids. Five dollars make a huge difference when you're squeaking by.

It really sucks to return stuff to the dollar store. It's embarrassing. Lingering shame has probably kept me out of dollar stores since then, although I love grocery outlet stores, Goodwill and other discount shops. 

But here I am again.  

What I discovered? I've been paying way too much for hair elastics, plungers, balloons, school science-fair display boards, earplugs and Disney Princess tissues. Also for sale: an excellent selection of Halloween crafts, stickers and decor, along with candy, crackers, snacks, craft supplies, mylar balloons and a nice assortment of crossword puzzle books. 

Legerdemain has to be one of the best unintentionally ironic names ever given to a slightly-scented something in a bottle. Yes, I smelled a bottle. Maybe three. I think I may have worn one of these in high school, when I only aspired to being a Nice Lady and Hot Thrill, as I obviously am today.

 

But I wouldn't buy this at any price. A fine print notification suggests that you wash your teeth before using; this package obviously used to include the teeth but cost more than $1. Also, I have my very own nerd glasses. On my face, all the time.

For sale in the food aisle: "Chef Swagger's Kitchen Soup Mix with Real Chicken Broth" which sounds like it could be both a lot of fun and a bad decision. 

Sort of like these, which were pretty much the only food-like thing I would eat, as a kid: 

Then there was the Color Eazy hair color treatment, also for $1 (hair coloring usually costs around $7-12/box). I looked inside, and apparently the cost savings comes from not including conditioner and having god-knows-what as ingredients. I don't know what state a person's hair would be in after repeated use, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to find out. 

Above: the most egregious case of endcap pinkwashing I've ever seen. The pink items here say "Show you care...Be Aware!" then go on to state that "a portion of these proceeds will go to support breast cancer treatment, prevention and awareness." Not much else. Huh. 

It's easy to make fun of cheap, bad products, and worry that financially strapped communities are being taken advantage of with marginally safe items. It's also easy to make fun of rich people who pay more for stuff because it's stamped with words like "natural" and "organic" or has an on-trend print, priced ten times what it cost to make. 

But the real discomfort came at the checkout stand. To get cash back, I had to agree to a $1 fee.  

I've never seen a charge for cash back anywhere -- at standard grocery stores or anywhere you can get cash back after a purchase, there's no fee attached. But where shoppers are most cost-conscious, probably pressed for time and most likely to need quick cash, there's a fee. 

Oh, and Dollar Tree made US$599 million in profits in 2015. Huh. 

Legerdemain indeed. 

The Dollar Tree
Address: 7816 Aurora Ave N ·