Beth's Cafe

"Damn junkies, taking all our spoons," the waitress said, upon reaching in to grab spoons from a container to set tables, and finding too many gone. 

"One place I worked, we put holes in all the spoons to keep them from stealing the spoons," the cook said. As the only cook, he seemed to have eight arms, simultaneously flipping pancakes, cracking eggs, buttering toast. 

"Yeah," she said, then laughed. "Seems like that'd defeat the purpose of a spoon, though."

***

Beth's Cafe seems like a great place to eavesdrop on everyday life over a good breakfast, 24 hours a day. 

By 8 a.m. on a recent Saturday, nearly every booth was filled with families, hungover punks, working girls and groups of 30-somethings.  

Menu also warns:  Eating raw or undercooked meats and eggs,
or running with scissors may increase your risk of not feeling very good.

The waitress answered the phone, and I overheard her half of the conversation:

Waitress: Well, if you came right now and your entire party was with you, we could seat you. That's all I can tell you.
Waitress: I don't know about, if you came in a half-hour. 
Waitress: Sorry. My crystal ball's in the shop.


I loved this waitress. 

Crayon illustrations covered every wall at Beth's and offered entertainment. Subjects included Pokemon, Minions, and insights into local and pop culture.

Drawing in front of pinball machine room at Beth's Cafe

"When you run out of baked potatoes you get Angry ART."

Probably doesn't reference NYC's North of Houston neighborhood. 

After my kids and I put in an order, we asked for crayons and paper. No one was able to trump my favorite pic of a certain political candidate: 

Portion sizes were enormous, even in the "Mini Breakfasts" section of the menu, which works as either kids' meals or normal-sized breakfasts. Beth's is primarily famous for their 6- or 12-egg omelet, which seems OK if you're sharing. That's a lot of food though.

The service was great and our grub was solid. Standard cafe-diner eggs, hash browns, pancakes and bacon -- dished up just right -- is sometimes all a person wants.

The overall atmosphere wasn't bright 'n' shiny New-Seattle, but what's a greasy spoon without the grease? Well, or the spoons. Junkies, quit stealing Beth's spoons!

***

A man in a half-shirt and ultra-tight pants reached out for his to-go order from the waitress.  "You take care of yourself, hon," she said, and she sounded like a mom talking to a son.

I got the feeling he might take care of himself a little better today, just because she said that. 





Beth's Cafe
Address: 7311 Aurora Ave N, Seattle, WA 98103 
Phone: (206) 782-5588 
Hours: Open 24 hours, 7 days a week
Menu: http://www.bethscafe.com/